Your girlfriend (let's call her Jane) has been in a relationship with a man she loves for seven years. Although the man (Todd) has not spoken much about marriage, Jane knows one day he will pop the question. Then one day Jane tells you that Todd dumped her. Jane is heartbroken. But, as though being dumped wasn't enough, Jane finds out a week later that Todd is engaged to marry another woman in two months. Jane is shocked and crushed, and she's looking out the second story window of her house, wondering if the jump just might be high enough to do her in. She turns to you for answers, but you have no clue of what to tell her. The question that is often posed by teary-eyed, jilted girlfriend is this: How can a man leave a woman he was such a long relationship with, only to marry a woman he's known only a month or two? The answer: He has known her for far longer than a month or two. Maybe as long as a year or two. When a man decides he wants to marry, he sets out searching for his perfect bride. During that search, let's say he happened upon Jane. She wasn't perfect, but she was close enough that throwing her back for another man to catch would've been foolish in Todd's opinion. So he decided he'd keep her, start a relationship with her. But he told himself something that day. Under no uncertain terms, Todd told himself he would never marry Jane. Knowing that, he continued looking for his perfect bride while maintaining a full-time relationship with Jane. Three or four years later, Jane mentions marriage every now and again. Todd never tells her he will marry her, but never tells Jane he won't either, realizing she's still the best thing he has going. Then one day he meets the woman that could be the one. The respectful thing to do would simply be to tell Jane this, and end the relationship with her. But Todd, like most men in this situation, need confirmation before we let go of the bird we already have in hand. So we date both women, just as Todd continues dating Jane for companionship, and all the benefits that come with it, and dates the new girl, (Sonya) hoping she'll make the perfect wife. After one year, Todd is certain Sonya is perfect. Todd proposes marriage. Sonya enthusiastically accepts. They set the wedding day for two months out. Now Todd is forced into action. This is when he delivers the news to Jane. "What!" Jane cries. "We've been together for seven years. I thought we were going to get married." Todd gives a line something like, "That's the problem. I know how much you want to get married. I know I don't want that, so it's best I let you go so you can find a man who can give you what you want." If this has happened to you, we are deeply sorry. If it hasn't, you know now what to look out for. If you happen to be in a long-term relationship that seems strangely similar to this, our suggestion--get out now! If you've been with a man for five years or longer, and he hasn't seriously talked to you about marriage, it's because he has no plans on marrying you.